❤ Chapter Three┆ Eyes like Mine

                When they got home, Raziel went to his room and took off his jacket then pulled a sweater on. It was always so cold in their house compared to the outside. When he entered the living room, Nalia was making her way up the stairs.

                Raziel knew it meant that she was upset. He frowned and watched her climb up the stairs. She had seemed happy earlier. What went wrong? He sat down on the couch and sighed. In the time they had spent in Castiel’s office, Raziel had grown hopeful that maybe this trip would change his mother for the better. It seemed like it had. Had Castiel said something when she and he were alone? He’s so kind . . . What could he have said to upset her? Raziel asked himself. It didn’t make any sense.

                The longer he sat there, the more he felt like marching up to his mother’s room and demanding that she tell him what’s wrong, but he knew he couldn’t do that. He needed to talk to someone before he did something irrational, and he knew just the people to go to. “I’m going to Vivi and Rose’s, Mom!” Raziel called. There was no reply. He sighed deeply and walked outside with his head down low.

                Raziel was grateful that his cousins lived next door. He could go to them whenever he needed to without much effort, and they would welcome him with open arms. Before he had even made it to the door, his cousin Violet had him wrapped in her arms. “Razi! It’s been so long since you last visited!”

                A big smile formed on his lips. He hugged her back. “It’s been a week, Vivi.”

                “I know, but we just miss you so much and it feels like we never see you!” she slowly let go of him. “Come on, let’s go inside. Rose nearly fell out of her chair when she saw you.”

                Raziel loved atmosphere of his cousin’s home. There was magic everywhere. He could feel it like static in the air, and it always excited him. While he didn’t have any of his own, his cousins assured him that if he could clearly feel it, his powers would awaken one day. He couldn’t wait. His attention was stolen when he stepped into the living room. His cousin Rose swept him into a hug. A tight one at that. “My Razizi has finally come back to me! I’ve missed you, my tiny friend!”

* * *

                After everyone settled down, Violet went to the kitchen to get some cookies and Rose began talking about her new boyfriend to fill the silence. If one thing was certain, it was that Rose loved to love. Unfortunately, she didn’t like to love the same person for long durations of time. “ . . . and we’re so in love, Razi! This time I think it’s real,” she cooed. Raziel smirked. She said that about every new boyfriend.

                Eventually, Violet returned much to Raziel’s relief. She set the plate of hot cookies down on the table nearest to Raziel. She then sat down close beside him. “So . . . what’s wrong? Oh don’t look at me like that. I could see that sad little face from a mile away,” she said softly as she stroked his hair.

                Suddenly, Raziel was a bit apprehensive about talking—he didn’t want to ruin the cheerful mood—but he knew it had to come out. He had held it in for long enough. Slowly, he began telling his cousins about how his feeling and all of the events that had led up to today.  After everything was said and done, Raziel sighed deeply. “I’m just so tired of seeing her so sad. She’s my mom . . . I miss seeing her smile,” Raziel said quietly. He could hear the shaking in his voice.

                Violet glanced nervously at Rose and then put her arm around Raziel and squeezed his shoulder. He glanced up at her and saw that she was no longer smiling. His spirit fell. As much as he didn’t want to, Raziel looked Rose dolefully.

                Rose sighed and scratched her head. “Razizi . . . We actually thought you would know what was wrong with Nali. We’ve wondered for a long time about what’s wrong with her. She wasn’t always like this. It seemed like she changed the day she came to Ennis . . .” Rose said. Her eyes fell to the ground. “We hadn’t even welcomed her home yet . . .”

                Violet took his hand, “We’ve asked her about it, but she always tells us nothing’s wrong. She knows that we know that’s not the truth, but she won’t talk. We doubt she ever will. It’s almost like. . . like she’s being forced to keep it to herself. I guess it’s just a mental thing, though . . .” Violet rested her head on top of Raziel’s.  Violet sighed and said quietly, “We miss her smile, too, Razi.”

                For what seemed like an hour, Raziel simply sat there. Not even his cousins, his mother’s closest friends, knew what was wrong. Did anyone? Would anyone ever know? He rested his head against Violet’s shoulder. For a long time, they all simply sat there in silence. They all knew that they were feeling the same inside.

                Eventually, Rose knew it was time break the silence. She grinned a little, “Razizi, do you want to hear a joke?” Raziel looked up at her and nodded.  Rose cleared her throat, “You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish,” she paused for a long moment and then looked up, “Unless, of course, you play bass.”

               Violet snorted, but eventually, the three broke into laughter. “You know, I told that one to my new principal earlier. I thought he was going to keel over and start flopping around like a fish out of water,”  Raziel said breathlessly. The three of them laughed even harder.

                Several fish puns later, Raziel decided it was time to go home. It was getting late, and Nalia would start cooking dinner soon. He gave his cousins two equally loving hugs and then waved goodbye.

                When he was back outside, Raziel let his happy façade fall. While he had felt happy in the company of his cousins, sadness still loomed deep in his heart. His mind was in a whirl. Questions floated in and out. Ideas came to mind, but were rejected. He would never be able to approach his mother. If she didn’t even trust her best friends with her troubles, what made him think she would tell him?

                There was one way to find out, one very personal way . . . His mother’s journal. The answer to all of his questions rested on the pages. All it took was one day alone. No—not even that much was needed. His mother went to bed early, and she did not come back down stairs for anything. If he worked fast enough, there was no way he would get caught. His aunts said that his mother changed whenever she moved to Ennis. He recalled it was about ten years ago around this time. All he had to was find that entry and read from that. A simple mission.

                Something was building inside him. It was made of a tad of excitement, a bit of adrenaline, a lot of guilt . . . and some fear. Apprehension began welling up inside him. What if the answers he found were more than he could take? There was a reason why his mother wasn’t telling anyone her darkest secret. What if it just made things harder for him afterward?

                In the midst of his thoughts, Raziel bumped into something soft and hard at the same time. He glanced up and saw that it was a person—a man. “Excuse me . . . sir,” he said slowly. As he looked up at the man, like a moth to a flame, Raziel was immediately pulled in by one feature in particular.

                His eyes.

                The man simply smirked, “You would have walked into the road had you not bumped into me. You really should be more careful, little boy. It’s a dangerous world.” And with that, the man brushed past Raziel and continued on his way as if Raziel had been nothing more than dirt beneath his shoes.

                Raziel stood in the same place for a long time.  Neither the man’s callousness nor his rude reaction phased Raziel. Quite honestly, he hadn’t even listened to the man’s reply. Dazed, Raziel watched the man walk away until he was no longer in view. Eventually, when the sun began to set and the man was long gone, Raziel turned and went home. It was like he was floating.

                Those eyes.

                From the time he had began playing with other children and interacting with to now, he had always been whispered about because of his eyes. Serpent eyes, they would say.  A bad omen. A sign of a devil’s presence. A cursed child. Immigrants with such a feature were denied citizenship immediately. They weren’t even allowed on the island. Being born on the island, Raziel was an exception. How did another person with serpentine eyes manage to get onto the island?

                Regardless, Raziel had finally met someone with eyes just like his, minus the color. The man’s eyes had been yellow . . . even more serpentine than his own. He felt . . . somewhat normal. There were other people like him in the world. Raziel came inside and sat down on the couch. He couldn’t stop thinking about the man, and the more he thought, the more other features began surfacing in his mind. After at least an hour of thinking, Raziel realized that they looked very similar.

                A little too similar.

                Somewhere in the back of his mind, wheels began turning. A part of him that had been dormant since birth began awakening. Awareness began to descend upon him. He was waking up.

                What’s wrong with me? I’m so . . . sensitive. One moment I’m smiling and laughing, and the next I’m on the verge of a breakdown just because a man grabs my arm.

                You did fine, Nalia. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You should be more proud of yourself than anything. Not only did you go out into public, you put yourself in a room with a man and kept calm. On top of that, you even relaxed somewhat and enjoyed feeling comfortable in his presence. You can’t keep beating yourself up over these things. Your son is going to need you more than ever now that he’s in school, and if you’re going to run and hide in your room every time something triggers you, you’ll let him down.

                Nalia sighed and rested her head on her knees. Not only was her conscious talking to her again, it was lecturing her. She was positive she was going crazy. A sigh escaped her lisps. When you never leave the house, I guess going insane is to be expected . . . Insane. It seemed like to kind of an adjective to describe herself with. Regardless of what her conscious told her, Nalia knew that she was overreacting far too much. She wasn’t doing any better; she had no reason to be proud of herself.  All she was doing was spiraling farther down into her madness.

                Nalia . . . Stop . . . You’re being irrational.

                She squeezed her eyes shut and tried her hardest to tune the voice out. Right now, she didn’t want to hear it. Slowly, Nalia slid off her bed. A distraction. She needed a distraction. Right on cue, she heard Raziel come in and knew it was getting about time for dinner.  What would they have tonight? Chicken seemed like a good idea . . .

                When she made it to the bottom of the staircase, Nalia’s eyes fell on Raziel. He looked as though he was dreaming. Raziel had always had heighted senses. It was nearly impossible to sneak up on him. He hadn’t even noticed Nalia coming down the stairs. As a mother, she immediately became concerned. Was something wrong with him? Was he getting sick?  She slowly approached him, “Razi, sweetheart, is everything okay? You look a bit dazed.”

                He turned slowly to look at her. The words that came out of his mouth were words Nalia hoped she would never, ever have to hear.

“Mother, I met someone with eyes like mine.”